The 1 Easy Way To Get Anything You Want (A Raise Or Promotion Or Lose 70 lbs)

 

You've got #goals. That's awesome! So do I. In fact, almost everyone does (unless you're basic and are OK being mediocre). Maybe you want to run walk a 5k this year or take that trip to Thailand or get your man to finally put a ring on it. Whatever it is, kudos for actually striving to be in a different position than you are in today.

It's so easy to make goals, but a lot more challenging to accomplish them. And if we're talking about career goals, the achievement target gets even more hard to reach.

Why is that? Why do so many people flop when it comes to getting things done - especially when it comes to work?

Well, there's actually a simple answer. Habits. Our daily habits affect every single aspect of our lives. You can give me any single circumstance (good or bad) in your life today, and I'll trace it back to the daily habit you used to create it.

Don't believe me? Ok. Let's say you're out of shape. You are several pounds overweight and can't walk up 1 flight of stairs without losing your breath (this one is a personal one for me). You didn't get this way overnight. Perhaps you chose to sit on the couch and watch Game of Thrones instead of prepping healthy meals for the week (guilty). Or you chose to hit snooze when your alarm went off in the morning instead of going for a run (guilty).

Whatever your habit of choice was, you chose it instead of the other option that would have left you with a different result.

This same principle can be applied to ANYTHING. If you're an amazing cook or pianist or excel guru, it's because you habitually practiced, learned and experimented. Do you see my point?

So, how can we apply good habits to our career? Let's say that your goal is to get a promotion within the next 3 years. It's not enough to just say your goal out loud or even just to write it down. What specific habits will you create that will actually help you accomplish your goal?

The easiest place to start is to find someone who's already where you want to be. Then you can learn all you can about what she did to get there and then turn those actions into regular, consistent habits.

Let's go back to the promotion example, you may need to get in to work an hour earlier every day to learn the ins and outs of your job so you can become the subject matter expert on your team. If you want to build your network, then you need to create a process for you to email/ call/ connect with 1 new person per week. Or what if you want to find a new job? Are you willing to set aside specific, uninterrupted time in your schedule to research new roles, strategically network, or hire a career coach?

The bottom line is that there is hardly any goal that will remain unmet if you have the right habits in place. It's not enough to focus on the end result of what you want, you have to put together an action plan that outlines every baby step.

Daily habits are what  I've used in the past to get promoted, get a raise and get a new job. Developing good habits are also what worked for me when I lost 70lbs a few years ago, bad habits are the reason I gained them all back  and new habits are what I'll have to use now that I have to do it again.

There really isn't a magical or sexy secret to becoming successful at accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.  It's as easy as creating a new habit.

-Dorianne

Why Your Job Sucks (And What To Do About It)

If you have the good fortune to love what you do for work, you are VERY rare. And I don't mean rare in the clichéd, vague kind of way. I mean you are LITERALLY a freak of nature as only 13% of humans WORLDWIDE actually love their job.

That means if you walk down the street and pass 100 people, only 13 of them will be smiling on any given Monday morning and this will be the same no matter what street you're walking down, whether it's in Barcelona, Ochos Rios, or Johannesburg.

And don't be fooled, this isn't just for people in certain industries or pay grades. Most people hate their jobs and that goes from the CEO, to the administrative assistant, to the customer service rep to your boss.

That is so crazy to me! We spend so much time at work! Most people are there between 8-9 hours per day, 5 days per week. That's 1/3 of your adult life!

With all that time spent working, it sucks to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every. single. Monday. I wouldn't wish that hopeless, anxious, depressed and demoralizing feeling on my worst enemy (actually, I would, but it's not PC to say that).

So, why do people hate their jobs so much? If you ask 5 people, you will get 5 different answers ranging from: 1) feeling bored/ unfulfilled, 2) hatred dislike for their boss and/ or coworkers, 3) being overworked, 4) office politics and 5) being underpaid.

Yes, these are all valid reasons to hate your job and are all things I've felt at some point or another in my career, but it's not the actual reason you hate your job. These are more of the symptoms rather than the cause. The reason you hate it is because you haven't figured out that WORK IS PART OF LIFE, NOT SEPARATE FROM IT.

Let's revisit the fact that we spend 1/3 of our lives at work. The other 1/3 is spent sleeping and the last third is spent eating, doing hobbies, with loved ones and scrolling through Facebook. Work is a huge part of daily life, so why do we try so hard to separate it? We have work clothes and work friends and a work spouse. We take on an entirely different persona. That doesn't make sense. Why live a double life?

The people who are happy at work have figured out the truth. They've all cracked the code on how to merge their work into their life. They don't spend their time chasing "work-life balance" or developing another personality to fit in at work.

So, how can you do this for yourself? Here are 3 ways:

1. Be real with yourself. Figure out who you are and what you really want and then go toward it full speed ahead. The key here though is that you have to be real. Stop setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or forcing yourself to go after things you don't even really want. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can move toward true fulfillment.

When it comes to professional goals, we tend to be a bit more delusional than we are with our personal goals. Wanting to get promoted to Senior Vice President is amazing, but are you willing to do what it takes to get that promotion? Better question - do you even really want that promotion?

2. Get really good at making lemonade. Ok, your boss is the worst and your coworkers are basic. You've got to push through. Find a way to focus on the positive things about your current job. Then, make a plan to get another gig or re-work your current one, ASAP.

When things in other areas of your life make you unhappy, you change it, right? You dump your bum boyfriend and get a new wardrobe when they don't work for you anymore, do the same with work! Just make sure you're doing it with your chin up and head high instead of moping around feeling sorry for yourself (read: what would Beyoncé do?)

3. Accept the ebb and flow. You can't have it all at the same time, ok? You can have different parts of it all at different times, but not simultaneously. Once you get that, I mean really get it, you will be 100x happier.

If you're going to happy hour with your girls, it means you won't be able to stay late and finish that presentation. If you will be traveling to Boston for that conference, then you will miss the dance recital. Look at your work and home commitments holistically and understand that there will be give and take.

For 97% of us, having a job is a fact of life. If you look at your Instagram feed long enough, it may seem like everyone is an entrepreneur living that #bosslife and gets to sleep in and work from the beach everyday, but I challenge you to ask them to show you receipts. Trust me, most of them are living that cubicle life just like you and me. #sorrynotsorry

Beyonce's Best Career Advice

We all know what an AMAZING, talented, beautiful and creative entertainer, powerhouse and overall #boss Beyonce is (and if you don't know, now you do).  But, beyond admiring her music and cheering her on for every accomplishment, you probably have never given much thought into how her career path can give some serious insight into your own! Over the past 20 years, Beyonce has managed to create her own signature style of music, eliminate any and all competition, keep her audience on their toes, set marketing and fashion trends and maintain a level of authenticity and class throughout everything she does.

While it may be tempting to think that there's nothing to learn from Beyonce if your goal isn't to be the baddest chick in the music game, I challenge you to read on.  Whether you're a die hard Bey-hive member or not (if you're not, I won't hold it against you), here are 4 things we can all learn from Queen Bey:

Focus on we. While it is very important to make sure you are excelling in your career and letting our boss know just how awesome you are every step of the way, it is equally important to build a team around you that supports your career and whose career you support as well.  The road to career success is paved with meaningful relationships.  The more you build others up, the more you grow.

Give it your all. No matter how many Beyonce concerts I've been to (4 and counting), I am always amazed at how big of a production each one of them is.  When you buy your ticket, you know that you're going to get a great show, but once you're on the inside and the show is in full swing, you see a woman who gives 110% for each and every song - all while wearing a fabulous ensemble complete with high heels and a waist length lace-front.  This should be the goal for your career! No, I'm not telling you to wear a sequined body suit to work tomorrow, but give it your all ALL DAY, EVERYDAY!  No half stepping when you get to work.

Be consistent.  Concert after concert.  Tour after tour. Album after album.  We have all come to expect a certain level of content from Beyonce.  This should be the approach you take to your own career.  Everything that has your name on it or that you are part of should be taken extremely seriously no matter how small or large it is.  Your goal should be to produce a top notch deliverable every chance you get.

OBLITERATE the competition (and naysayers).  The biggest lesson I've learned from Beyonce is that THERE IS NO COMPETITION.  There have been many girl groups and solo acts that have come and gone over the years, but what continues to make Beyonce a standout is that she has recognized her unique place in the world, plays to her strengths and remains true to herself - no matter what any one else has to say about it. The moment you are clear on your career goals and what strengths you bring to the table, you will see how much you will stand out at work.  As you focus on what you have to offer in your own unique way, you will realize there is actually no competition.

-Dorianne

How I Found My Dream Job in 30 Days

It took me 12 years to realize just how all of my professional (and personal) experiences merged together to make me the career woman I am today.  For a very long time I was unable to make sense of my professional life.  I was so confused and conflicted. My career journey started in 2005 after I graduated from Spelman College with a degree in Psychology and 2 totally different career roads to choose from: 1) a full time job offer in the Operations department at  a Fortune 100 investment bank in New York and 2) an acceptance into the Clinical Psychology program at an Ivy League university.  

While many people around me told me how "lucky" I was to have so many options and how much the "world was my oyster" - it was such a confusing time for me.

After a day or 2 of soul searching (not nearly enough time as I needed), I decided to pursue the money and put grad school on the back burner so I could work full time.   From the very first week at the investment bank, I knew it was not the right fit.  The people were cut throat, mean, overworked and stressed out.  And worst of all, I was in no way utilizing my God given talents.

After years of ignoring my intuition - which was telling me that I needed a change - I got a rude awakening when I was laid off.  It's funny how life has a way of speaking to you - first in whispers and then in a loud scream at the highest decibels.  After 6 years of dedicating my time, energy and health to this place, they decided they were done with me and no longer needed my services - TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY WEDDING!

I'm not going to lie, at first I was depressed.  Very depressed.  I felt helpless and was at rock bottom.  I was so used to being a top performer and over achiever - people like that do not get laid off, I thought.  It was a very emotional adjustment period.

After months of feeling sorry for myself, binge watching TV and being glued to my couch, I finally decided that enough was enough.

I gathered all of my notes from helping people with their own careers over the years in Operations and HR (I didn't realize then how career coaching had always been apart of who I was), found myself a mentor, did some serious research and put myself through a sort of "job search bootcamp".

This bootcamp consisted of:

• getting into a success mindset
• setting clear and intentional career goals
• creating a new and improved personal brand
• putting together a top notch professional portfolio
• perfecting my job search strategy
• learning how to interview like a pro

After about a year of moping around and doing nothing, once I got a grip, got over myself and used my new strategies I was FINALLY able to find a job within 30 days!  And it wasn't just any old job.  This new job had a shorter commute, higher pay, better hours, great boss and I worked along side some of the most thoughtful and professional people of my career.

Although it took me some time to get to a place where I could appreciate all that I've been through in my career, I wouldn't change any of it.  Like I said, all of my experiences have made me into the career woman I am today.

If you want to learn the exact steps I took to find my dream job, sign up for my free training!

Very truly yours,

Dorianne

The 8 BEST Networking Tips Ever Written!

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about 5 easy and natural ways to network for #boss women who want to build new relationships in an organic way. One of the ways I mentioned to do this was to build your network before you actually need it.  This way it wouldn't seemed phony or forced when you are reaching out to your contact to help with a job search, introducing you to a key person, etc.  It's always easier to build a relationship with someone when you aren't asking for favors from the beginning.

I received a few questions after I wrote the article on how to actually spark a new relationship and build your network.

Here are 8 great ways to excel at the game of networking:

1. Be authentic.  This should go without saying, but hey - I've said it anyway.  No one wants to build a relationship with someone who comes off as fake and insincere.
2. Be prepared to exchange contact information.  Seems obvious, right?  But I can't tell you how many times I've been in situations where I've just met someone in person and they don't have a business card to give to me or a thorough email signature online.  How do I get in contact with you, honey?
3. Own the room (or meeting, conversation, lunch, etc).  No matter what type of networking situation you are in, OWN IT!  Be confident in what you have to offer and in the reason the other person should want to get to know you.
4. Don't be a mean girl.  NEVER judge a book by its cover - or by its profile pic and bio.  People are so much more than what you see on the surface.  Take the time to actually get to know each person you meet to find common areas of connection.
5. Don't make it all about you.  Always approach a budding contact as if they are silently asking "What's in it for me?".  Look for ways to get to know and add value to the person you are meeting.
6. Let conversation flow naturally.  While you should always be ready to spark and maintain interesting and thoughtful dialogue, don't force anything.  Begin with lighthearted conversations and let things expand from there.
7. Be able to explain who you are and what you do.  The foundation of building a new relationship is to introduce yourself, right? Make sure you have an interesting and concise personal pitch to help frame the initial meeting.
8. Follow up.  This one is a big deal - NEVER, EVER offer or take contact information if you have no intention of actually using it. A good rule of thumb is to reach out within 48 hours of the first meeting to stay in touch.

Whether you love it or hate it, networking is a HUGE part of career success. With so many ways to connect with people these days, there's no excuse to not get into it.

Try out a few of these tips and let me know how it goes!

All the best,

Dorianne